MY LIFE: A Spirograph and an Etch A Sketch November 20, 2008

oooohhhh, Color!

Okay, Now if I could figure out how to make it a diffent font and size.  Anyhoo, on to my post!

I was finishing up a super, incredile weight lifting set, after already having a super intense, sweat your heart out cardio session.  I was on my last set of back extensions and I suddenly had this feeling of peace and happiness just wash over me that all was right in the world.  Instantly this picture of a Spirograph jumped into my head. Remember those as a kid, they had the cogs, you had to place them in patterns, then they woudl draw cool geometric images (I was NOT good at them as a child).   But I had this great image of all the pieces of my life being one of those cogs, and they were just all fit together perfectly and all together they made a great pattern!!  (this is where if I had mad blogging skills a cool spirograph pic would be placed, I don’t…yet, so it won’t)  Not sure where this wave of happiness and self-confidence came from. It may have came from the great workout which made me feel strong. It may have came from my currently clean house which makes me just plain happy. It may have came from feeling at this moment all is right with my children which makes me feel at peace. It may have came from the fact that my husband comes home tonight from a three day business trip and I really miss him.  It may have came from having good control over my meal plan today which makes me feel confident.  All of it together added up to this moment of perfect contentment, a beautiful spirograph design – if only for a moment, as if it was created on another favorite childhood toy – an etch a sketch, a design easily disrupted!

Is This Enough? November 18, 2008

I find myself struggling with this questions at times.  It started to perk up in my head once my youngest child started 1st grade, full time school.  When you have three small boys at home you never find yourself wrestling with this question – is this enough?  There is just always enough:  laundry, cooking, dr. appt., cleaning the three p’s (puke, pee and poop), running here, running there, play dates, diapers.  Who would have ever had time to ponder one’s existence questioning if one were doing enough.  About halfway through that year, my middle son was dx with Type 1 Diabetes.  All of those questions went screeching to a halt.  All the sudden I had the thought screaming in my head: THIS IS TOO MUCH!!  Dipping our toe into the next year of school now I am at times again asking myself “Is This Enough?”  Is managing this family and working a little here and there enough of a job?  There are so many days when I know it’s enough. I know that this family needs me at home and I have the great privilege to be able to provide that.  I can be there for my 3 sons most times that they need me.  I don’t have to worry about how we will schedule anything when my husband says on Sunday night: you know I have to be in Nashville for 3 days and I leave tomorrow morning right (ah, nope you forgot to mention that).  I even get to work out at my leisure during the day at times and take great classes.   So when I don’t let anything else influence my personal values and feelings I know that this indeed is Enough and asking if it is enough might be one of the silliest questions I ponder at this time in my life!

LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, HA November 17, 2008

In honor of Make Make Me Laugh Monday I am going to launch off of Jenny’s sign that made her laugh.  I will share something that made me and my sisters almost pee our pants one day.  We were putting one of those Wall Words up on my mom’s wall – something really inspirational – like “Believing is where it all begins” is how I think it went.  We launched into a hilarious discussion about what should really be up on the wall.  Phrases that reflect real life…..here are two of our favorites.  Over the kitchen “YOU GET WHAT YOU GET AND DON’T THROW A FIT”,  and over the door heading out  “IF YOUR NOT WEARING IT YOUR CARRYING IT”.   I’m sure you could add your own on here.  They could be in all pretty font and swirly, curly – it would be great!  Thinking you could start a business called REAL LIFE WALL WORDS – but maybe we just really don’t want reality on our walls, we just want to try to remember to LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!!

Pharmacies are Phrustrating… November 12, 2008

So  I am trying to be a good diabetes parent and get all my ducks in order. When you are on an insulin pump you need a back up plan in case something goes awry with the pump. Let’s just say for instance you leave the quick-serter (inserts infusion set) at your mom’s for an example.  If one were not to receive it in the mail in time for a pump site change, one would have to use a back up plan.  Should one have a back up Quick-serter you ask?  Why yes, one probably should, but let’s just say you don’t (which you will because you would probably now have ordered one as a back up)

Sugar coma…. November 10, 2008

So as could have been predicted, I return to the home of my youth for the weekend and act just as I did when I was a child – candy, sugar, junk.  Just one day. I did great on Saturday, and even on Monday, but that darn Sunday in between…..agggghhh.  The warm cookies out of the oven led to the awesome fudge from Door County which led to a little red wine with it.  Then the vicious cycle just starts over.  I was feeling pretty sick by the end of the night.  Today I will not be wallowing it – I will just start right back at my goals.  The interesting thing will be to watch how many times I start over, how many times I just say – oh well – and just start over.   Let’s assess the damage over the next week, shall we.  What cost was the sugar binge?   Okay – off to have some coffee with cream only – no sugar or fake sugar.

Reminiscing November 8, 2008

this evening as I am waiting for my husband and oldest son to leave for Opening Deer Hunting. The memories are so vivid of the years when I had three very little children hanging on me as dad walked out the door for hunting, three weekends in a row.  Time seemed to drag by like walking through quicksand. Those weekends were as long as the whole week he would be at work.  Now it seems that time has sped up…..I sometimes feel like I am in a swirling vortex of time passing me by so quickly.  Erik is now old enough to hunt all by himself for the very first year.  For him, this moment also seemed like it would just never get here.  Within a few years, I know that I will be sitting here alone.  I am sure that I will enjoy the peace and quiet of those weekends…..but not as much as I thought I would all of those years ago.

Warning…… November 6, 2008

This post is a selfish look at one of the things I hate most about diabetes.  Let’s just be clear off the bat that the things I really, really hate most is everything it does to my son.  His poor fingers pricked 8 to 10 times a day, it’s like a little bee sting on your finger each time. I hate the large needle that inserts the infusion set.  I hate that he can’t just dive into a cupcake with the rest of the kids at school – first go check, then if his number is low enough he can have a cupcake but only to be assured of a high number later.  Okay – see, I know what all the really crappy things are, but here is something that really eats at my weakness.  You can’t just punt with this disease.  In that I mean, you really have to read the whole directions, you really have to know the real number of carbs. There is no guessing, or figuring it out along the way. You know what I mean – you get the new printer or digital camera or yada yada yada, hook it up and you pretty much know how it operates. You know that camerahas alot more capabilities and your sure you will read that manual eventually and figure them out, but for now, it’s working for you.  It’s just not like that with Diabetes. Joshua has this very high tech, amazing pump that I need to know all the details about.  So I have had to force myself to be a more detailed person, kind of like a real grown up who really understands everything about this disease.  I read the diabetes forum for parents and know that I am so far from so many of those parents. They understand soooo much more than I do – but I know that I will get there – because I have to, not because it is innate to my personality.  So there, that is one thing that I really hate about this disease.

An Amazing Man, An Amazing Country November 5, 2008

I have been a supporter of Obama from the beginning of this election season, (by season I mean almost 2 years).  His sincerity and wisdom has always impressed me.  I second guessed myself a little between Obama and Hillary, but was so glad with my choice.  I am not a passionate politician. I generally do not get into debates and I do not try to change peoples opinions.  To each their own.  But, watching that acceptance speech last night, I was blown away by this man that I am predicting will go down in history as one of the greatest presidents of our time.  I felt as though I was watching history being made before my eyes.  Democrat or Republican, how could you not have been  moved by the significance of this event.  I believe there are many people who were a little caught by surprise at how emotional of exerience it truly was.  I must also say how impressed I was with John McCain’s concession speech.  I had always like John McCain and would even have considered voting for him for president prior to the campaign that they ran.  Last night, that John McCain was fully present and delivered one of the most patriotic and honorable speeches I have ever heard.  Last night I was proud to be an American and have hope that our country will again be respected around the world.  Today is a good day. I must say – President Obama has a very difficult job ahead of him. Be careful what you ask for many would say.  But I believe that he truly has the desire, knowledge and wisdom to turn this country around.  God Bless America

Moderate ADHD Likely November 4, 2008

I just read the funniest post from my friend Jenny at Jennyonthespot.com.  You know the kind of person you call a friend, but you have never met – you read their blog and they just seem so dang cool and you have alot in common and you would definately be a friend if you lived by each other and happened to have your paths cross – that kind of friend.  She posted her results of an ADHD quiz.  Interesting to me since there are so many times that I am pretty sure I suffer from it myself.  So I popped over and took the quiz, my results  – the title listed above.  So not super really bad adhd like Jenny’s was, but definately a factor.  I am convinced that my ADHD is childhood onset, not in like I had it as a child, but in like I have obtained it since having children.  No complete thoughts can ever be formed, or projects ever completed because the 8 million or so things they require will interrupt in some way….like “I forgot my science project at home, can you please run it to school” or “Joshua is out of strips, can you bring them to school”, or the many hundreds of time a day that my attention is diverted because there is something else I should be doing like blogging, facebook,  laundry, cooking. Oh that reminds me, my oven is still warming – pretty sure it is warm. BRB. 
Alrighty – Chickens on!!  So, this not being able to get the things done that I need to – what is that about – is it ADHD type qualities, do I just have to much going on? or do I just not like doing housestuff (cleaning, laundry, finances) and would much rather be having coffee with my friends, playing on the computer, working out, etc. etc.  Probably some of the former and mostly the latter.  So I am just very curious about how other SAHM feel about these chores.  It is interesting as well that when I am working my misc. days during the month – the stuff gets done.  I stay more on task knowing there are deadlines, things have to get done.  But when I have no deadline, I am not on project status but on assembly line operation, I am not that effective at completing things.  So, anyone got any solutions to that?

Sugar Booger November 3, 2008

Today is the first day that I am giving up sugar and I feel sad so great about it.  I am sitting here drinking my coffee with fat free half and half and toleratingloving it.  I debated if I should slowly wean off the Splenda in my coffee from the 2 gaggingly sweet tsp I use now, or if I should just rip off the band-aid and get it done!  I have decided to just rip off the band aid.  I know that over the past 6 months as I have let sugar back into my life I’m sorry sugar, i still love you.  I have increased my cravings for it and have slowly been adding more and more to everything.  So Goodbye Sugar my friend.  I must give you up as you give me stomach aches and make my butt get  look much bigger than it actually is!  So I started off my day with a great workout – lifting chest and triceps.  Thank you chest and triceps!  Now I am off to bootcamp. 

Oh, on a Diabetes note – aggggggggghhhhhh.  Is that enough of a blog post for that?  So last night, mommy was very happy – extra hour of sleep – daylight savings time, getting up for the gym is going to be so much easier. HA!!  Joshua is getting ready for bed, tests before.  He had a horrible number at 7:00 – 470 – this was the result of not getting his pump changed, having a friend over, eating his Halloween candy – lots of excuses. It is the first 400 we have seen in at least a month.  He takes a conservative 5 units – at 7:50 he was 274 woohoo, coming down quickly – 8:20 -  114 – uh oh, coming down way quick, 9:27 yikes now he is 83. We feed him a serving of peaches and I know I will be up testing tonight.  I lay down, start to rest:  9:50 – 71, still coming down – he drinks a juice in his sleep – 10:10 - 74, not coming up enough, 11:50 – 84.  At this point I am out of juice, milk, chocolate milk, no bananas – our usual low food, aggghhh.  I tried frosting – have you ever tried to get a 3/4 the way sleeping child to eat frosting – it is not an easy task.  Dr. Pepper – yuch, he hated that, sugar smacks – finally ate some of those.  2:00 am – up to test again – 101, YEA – we are finally staying up, not dropping, I go back to bed for the final time.  At 4:45 my alarm rings to head to the gym. I probably had a good reason to just stay in bed, I am sure you would all agree.  But I promised Rodney we would get back to it.  Check on Joshua, he is nice and warm, comfortable sleeping.  This morning he was 133.  Oh yeah, I also took his pump off of him in the night so he did not receive any basals all night.  See, it all could have been summed up with agggggghhhhhhh.